The Days We Hate
by knives4cash
Summary: Blake attempts to minimize the damage of Yang's morning antics. Hilarity ensues.


BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-EAURGAMARABEEeee-! An angry fist tends to draw out such agonizing sounds from an alarm clock, so I've noticed.

I remove my fist from the alarm clock's corpse, and use it to pull the forest of yellow hair out of my face. "Mrrrgh." I groan. Actually, I yawn, but somehow manage to squeeze in a groan in that. I attempt to get up, but am instantly reminded that Yang's deadlock is still affecting my torso. Sighing, I pull her arms off of me.

"Nooo." She murmurs, pulling me back in and nuzzling me ever so affectionately. It's a shame that her efforts are wasted.

"Yang, we need to get up." I firmly remind her. Once again, I pry her off of me and remove myself from the bed entirely. "I am in no mood to suffer your antics." Another yawn. I need my milk.

"Yeah, yeah." Yang yawns and stumbles out of bed after me. She begins her routine of stretches while I go to the bathroom and begin to wash up.

Warm water, how I love thee so. Unlike Yang, you don't try to break my spine in my sleep. It's great. I've got some of you in the sink, splashing you on my face, and I've got more of you in the shower, just waiting for me to step in. I dry my face and see that my uniform is still on the toilet seat next to the shower. Planning ahead: The foundation of empires since the beginning of time. I quickly strip. Warm Water Rome, here I come.

I hear the pop and crackle of a soda can. No doubt one of Yang's Blue Cow energy drinks. Since Ruby and Weiss are still experiencing the luxury of slumber, I feel no embarrassment in stepping out of the bathroom without clothing. My suspicions are confirmed. Yang's chugging down the massive can. "Yang, I question the wisdom in ingesting such atrocious liquids at such an early hour." I do love her so. Why must she poison her beautiful body with those horrible drinks?

She exhales with satisfaction and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Said hand then scratches the massive head of bed hair. "I can quit whenever I want." I raise an eyebrow at such a declaration.

"Then perhaps you would like to pour it down the sink?" Her eyes are blinking one at a time. That's not a good sign.

"Mmmmh, sure. Lemme just finish-" She quickly guzzles the rest of the liquid trash. "Aaaah. There, no more. I'm going cold turkey."

I sigh and shake my head. It's a good thing we can't biologically have children. They'd probably have sugar for blood. "Fine. Taking shower now." I yawn again. Sleeping in and forgoing all of my classes sounds like an excellent idea. NO! I must resist!

I retreat back into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Pulling the shower curtain aside, I step in. Mmmmmh, warm water. You understand me.

My shower, no matter how wonderful, must always be quick. Ruby and Weiss are probably up by now, and I need to let them take their showers. I shut off the water and quickly wipe down the walls and pick off any stray hairs that cling to them. I am considerate, if nothing else.

I am dried and dressed in a matter of minutes, and I open the door again, unleashing steam upon our dorm. Thankfully, Weiss must have opened the window, judging from how she slouches next to it. She glances at me. "Mmmgh."

Ruby bumps by me. "Mmmgh." My my, what an expansive vocabulary. "Weeiisss..." Ruby slouches against the doorframe. I move over to the small kitchen area that consists of a fold-up table, Yang's mini-fridge, and a few boxes of Pumpkin Pete's. "You wanna come?" She giggles. I turn around to see Weiss look away, no doubt blushing. Her aura is still cloudy from having just woken up. Regardless, Weiss accepts the invitation and follows Ruby into the bathroom. The door shuts and clicks, indicating that one of them locked it.

"Yeaaah..." I look back and see Yang yawn. "You know what to do with the prom queen, sis." Yang sticks her spoon in the air and yawns. "Go... get her." I hear the water start up, drowning out any moans or gasps that we might be subjected to. She grabs another Blue Cow can and pours its contents into her cereal bowl. "Blake. We need more..." She stares at the Blue Cow can. "This."

I sigh. "Yang, you need to wake up and-" And now she's fallen over. I would be worried, were it not for the fact that she's nibbling on the empty can. "Yang?" I kneel down and knock on her forehead. "Mrs. Belladonna? Are you home?"

She's assumed a fetal position. In her sleeping clothes. Her scent fills my nostrils. "Need..." What?

I sigh. We're going to be late if she falls back asleep. No manmade sound can wake her up. I have to keep her awake. Thus, I believe that I am fully within my rights to yank her up to her feet "No, Yang. You need to wake up. Balance. You need to balance." I snatch the empty can from her grasp and throw it into the trash. That is the filthiest vile I have ever seen marketed.

She giggles. "I can be the yin to your Yang." Her head roles back as she forgoes the act of standing up. I barely manage to keep her from crashing back down on the floor.

Resting her back into her seat, I sigh. I usually don't condone her puns, but it's that or be marked tardy. I've no choice. "Very good, Yang. That was a very clever pun." Maybe, if she skips her shower, we can be on time. But then she'll reek of... our combined scents of arousal and certain... fluids. Maybe we can sit in the back rows of class.

She freezes. Oh no. Twenty minutes awake, three to six Blue Cows in the span of those minutes... factor in the Law of Yang... Oh sweet lord. "Yang, honey, darling, love-" I plea as I watch her pupils dilate. She grabs my shoulders. I need to remember to get rid of those accursed Blue Cows.

"BLAKE!" She yells directly at me. "We're going to be LATE!" She jumps up and jerks her mini-cooler open, grabbing another Blue Cow. I would stop her, were I not in fear of her biting my hand off. Speaking of biting, she does that. To the can. She's drinking out of a hole that she made in the middle of the can with her teeth. This will not end well.

She draws my attention by crunching the now empty can in her hand and smashing it against her forehead. At least she's awake now.

"And a late Blake will never learn to skate!" Oh great, now she's a poet. She leaps over to our nightstand and starts pulling out random articles of clothing. "I'm feeling bear today!" She leaps up and shows me her ursa skin. In this summer heat, she'd melt in that. I'd rather that not happen.

I move to detain her. "Yang, no. You need to wear your school uni-" She's violently putting it on now. I wonder if I can wake her up properly from throwing her into the shower with Ruby and Weiss. "Yang, you can't go our wearing th-"

"BEAR with me on this!" She exclaims, managing to pull it over her head. "I BARELY know what I'm doing!" Oh sweet lord, why?

She doesn't even have her bag packed. "Yang." I warn. "If you don't calm down, you're going to-"

She's managed to "dress" herself now. Ursa skin over her undershirt and short shorts. "What I do, woman, is BARELY any of YOUR concern!" She's down to recycling her puns. That's not good. Any minute now, she'll-

"TO SCHOOL!" She proclaims, jumping out the window. Now she's interrupting my thoughts. Can this morning get any worse.

Sighing, I perch myself upon the window and prepare to jump after her. From the third floor, it can be made with ease, but Yang's running fast. I'll have to be quick if I want to-

"Uuuum." WHY does everyone keep interrupting my thoughts?! I shoot a glare at Nora Valkyrie who trudges into our dorm, not even out of her nightgown. "What's going on?"

I sigh and turn back to looking out. "I'm about to chase down Yang and try to drag her to class." Speaking of class, Ruby and Weiss had better hurry up. I don't plan on intruding, but they don't want to be late ei-

"Uuuum." Nora groans. AGAIN! WHY can't I finish a single thought this morning?! I turn back at her. "Blake?"

"WHAT." I demand, glaring at her.

"It's Saturday."

...What? "It is?"

She yawns. "Yeah. You can go back to sleep."

I look down to see Yang return from her run. It seems she's running laps around the dormitory. I'm never going to catch her, not until the sugar wears off. That won't happen for at least three more hours.

This is your fault, Yang. I don't know how, but it's your fault. "Nora."

"Whaaat?" I look up and see her displeasure in having to prolong her absence from bed.

"Would you like to help me catch Yang?" I'm prepared to deal. "Name your price."

"Blake, I may be crazy enough to ride an ursa." She's closing the door behind her. "But I'm not insane enough to stand in the path of a charging Yang." She shuts the door behind her.

I groan.

The bathroom door swings open, and a very steamy Weiss stalks out, pulling Ruby behind her. Their lack of clothing speaks volumes. "Blake, it's Saturday." Weiss states and falls back into bed and pulls the sheets over herself and Ruby. Leave it to Weiss to have crucial epiphanies in the middle of shower sex. "Don't wake us up."

I shut the window as Yang attempts to make another lap. Conveniently for me, she crashes right where I can see her. "As long as you don't wake ME up." I warn, getting back into my own bed. I'm too put out to deal with that woman.

Yang's a big girl. she'll be fine. Sleepy Rome, here I come.


End file.
